When Andrew Burashko called me in the spring of 2008 and asked if I would perform with the Art of Time Ensemble at their upcoming Songbook concert in Toronto, I was flattered. And honoured. And scared, a little bit. Here was this group of some of Canada’s most accomplished and creative musicians from the Classical and Jazz communities, and they’re asking me to choose some songs to sing. Each song would then be arranged by some of the finest contemporary arrangers out there. I knew right away this was something special, and I knew I had to choose my songs wisely. Here was an opportunity to sing the songs that had kept me awake at night. The songs that had made me wonder how their composers could peek into the hidden corners of my soul and see my greatest fears, my greatest desires, my take on myself and on the world around me.

I instantly thought of Elvis Costello’s masterpiece, “I Want You.” I remember lying in bed the first time I heard it, late at night with the radio on. I was fifteen. How could this song of desperate jealousy have pinned me to my mattress in awe? Because that was the kind of teenager I was. Some things change little. The song still leaves me breathless with embarrassment, shame and envy, but the chance to sing it was too good to pass up. It became an opportunity for a song that had long been a part of me to come out. And when we stood onstage together in front of that first audience, it howled out of my throat like the blast of warm air that heaves out of us when there are no tears left to cry.

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